Saturday 17 September 2011

I'm Confused

Saya ingatkan


pagi ini akan menjadi pagi yang indah


seperti hari-hari sebelumnya :)


Tapi


pagi ini,


saya dibangunkan oleh Mummy.


She called me.


[
     kerana saya tidak mau pgi
     interview spa,
     sya lupa pula yang parents sya
     maw btul sya join tu interview.
     sya tidak trfikir yang pagi nie
     mummy call sya psal itu :P
]


time awal2 tuu, sya masih menjawab


mummy dengan suara mengantuk


trus... makin lama, makin serious pula sikit.


She told me to go for that interview


but my heart said i really don't wanna go.
(ok. i'm crying lagi :<)


Reasons is :
                  - i don't like the job(tidak berminat)
                  - my level of study is higher than the job
                    (i'm in degree level now,and it's my 2nd yr.but that job is in diploma level)
                  - 
and believe my God prepared a beautiful future for me.


why do i have to worry if i don't get a job when i Graduated


i know sometimes i have financial problems.


Bapa will pension soon.


and i still have 2bro n a sister who are still in school.


selepas kena pujuk2, advice2, ceremah2 ... and many more.


i suddenly cried. my voice can't come out from my mouth.


i trus silent without answering my mummy.


then i juz said "yaa" and finished.


i didn't hang up the phone


i juz busy controlling my voice


i don't want my parents know that i'm crying that time.


i juz couldn't answer anymore. sya terus tdk terjawab mummy sy lagi


cukup la sy jawb "yaa", and thats mean i'll juz go!


i didn't prepare anything, i'll answer everything that interviewer ask.


sya masih akan buat dengan sungguh2 laa.. :D


whan i wanna hang up the phone, mummy already did.


so, i don't know anything after that.


maybe she smiled happily bcoz i will go.


and I


ended up crying until my eyes swelled. T.T


then. i ask Lord : outhoghe ?? (korean language)


sambil i cried, i pray laa to God.


It's really hard for being a human actually.. :)


But God makes in easier from time to time ...


God bless! 

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